Death Is Not "The Worst Thing About Life"

On this most difficult day I am thinking about death.

Last night, on my way out of my graduate class in Jersey City, a friend texted me to let me know our next door neighbor's infant son had died suddenly. I spent the long drive home talking to Ruth. When I got home at 11 p.m., I sat in my car in the driveway, crying and still talking with her and noting that all the lights were on in the family's home and all the shades drawn. My friend and I were grieving, trying to make sense of the unimaginable.

Overheard in a Retirement Community Dining Room

Some moments lodge deep inside one's heart. That happened to me today, as I ate lunch with my parents at a retirement community they wanted to check out.

When Words Fail: Pray for Sarah Harkins and Her Family

When I was in high school, I had the role of Laura in Tennessee Williams' play The Glass Menagerie. I remember our drama teacher, Mr. Stewart, discussing a scene with us, a scene in which Laura's brother, Tom, does not say a word. "Why isn't he speaking?" Mr. Stewart asked us. "Because he is so full of emotion he cannot speak."

And so it is with me, following the sudden death Monday of Sarah Harkins, 32, of Fredericksburg, Va., a friend I never met face to face, but a woman who has helped to guide my journey for several years. Sarah, who was carrying her unborn child, Cecilia, died after an allergic reaction to many stings from a yellow-jacket hive disturbed in her backyard. She is survived by her husband, Eric, and four children.

Somerset, NJ: Bless the Lord in a Strip Shopping Mall

One of my wonderful parish priests gigged me about my morning tweet, which was this:

"Parking lots and strip malls bless the Lord? LOL! " he tweeted back. 

From Barnard, Vermont: Rebuilding After a Home Fire

My husband's Aunt Dagney lost her Vermont home of many years in mid-March in a fast-moving fire. Fortunately, noone was hurt and her only child, an adult daughter who lives nearby, is raising funds to help her out. The link is here. 

Enduring Trials and Reminding Ourselves What Will Endure

I long ago gave up believing in coincidences. I believe that everything that happens in our lives, happens for a reason. Over the weekend, something ugly happened. An adult took it upon himself to insult our eldest son publicly, Our son has become deeply involved, publicly involved in writing,speaking, going door to door and otherwise peacefully  and respectfully organizing opposition to our local school board, which is pursuing policies that are serving to destabilize our public schools. Our son wants to enter the world of public policy and politics .After reading cruel remarks on a facebook page and in private emails to my husband and me, Greg told our son this is the price that sometimes must be paid for working for the common good. Our friends rallied around us with sweet phone calls, and homemade chocolate cake and wise admonitions to steer clear of the internet, where this whole effort at public humiliation was unfolding all weekend..

An Unexpected Christmas Gift

A religious acquaintance of mine recently told a friend of mine he didn't think I should waste my time trying to alter the direction of our local public schools because even if this latest problem were solved, another problem would crop up.

The thing is, God calls us to do His work of justice and mercy, to places outside church doors. Sometimes, the work we do unexpectedly helps to draw those we encounter back to Christ. That's God's doing, not ours. This was today's Christmas miracle at the 11 a.m. Mass for me.

Please Pray for a Young Man's Continued Recovery

A few days ago, I asked you to pray for a young man, Peter, a 14-year-old family friend who is a classmate of our younger son, as well as a fellow Confirmandi. Last Friday, Peter had a seven-hour operation at the Hospital for Special Surgery in Manhattan, the nation's oldest orthopedic hospital, to correct acute scoliosis. Peter now is home recuperating.

I ask you continue to pray for him, as well as for his loving parents, who are caring for him. My girlfriend Judy stayed by his side his entire hospital stay.

My father, long retired, was a surgeon and I often heard from patients how grateful they were to his care. Now I really understand. As a reminder that surgeons can, with the grace of God, work miracles, here are Peter's before and after photos.

Before....

After....

 

Blessed Savior, I thank you that this operation is safely past, and now this young man rests in your abiding presence, relaxing every tension, releasing every care and anxiety, receiving more and more of your healing life  into every part of his being. In moments of pain may he turn to you for strength, in times of loneliness may he feel your loving nearness. Grant that your life and love and joy may flow through him for the healing of others in your name. Amen.

Sisterhood at the Nail Salon

Grace comes in unexpected places. After work today, I went to the nail salon for a pedicure. A group of ladies, older and Jewish and lifelong friends, were there. The owner of the salon is a Korean woman, married for years and a devout Catholic. Her husband of many years works with her. They never had children. And so this story begins.

Seven Quick Takes for Friday

 (painting by Jason Tako)

1. Spring is coming; I can just feel it. It is so glorious to see more and more of the sun these days. As much as I try, I don't do well in winter.

After the Storm, Psalm 85: A Poor Man's Prayer in Times of Trouble

Today for a while, I tuned out all the news about the effects of Hurricane Sandy. I have had a severe cold the past few days and have been lying in bed sleeping and sneezing and drinking water and diet ginger ale.

I knew the tears I was shedding over how much people are suffering in New York and New Jersey wasn't doing any of them any good. So I decided to spend the morning sleeping and listening to James Taylor and trying to forget the misery around us. (All these photos of the Breezy Point section of Queens, first appeared in The Tablet, the publication of the Diocese of Brooklyn.)

After Hurricane Sandy, My Children Help Me Keep Going

 Yesterday while driving out of the Home Depot parking lot,  I began to tear up. Our 16 year old son's words kept me going.

See, I had checked my facebook before heading into the store. I discovered two CL friends are homeless. The boiler in their apartment building in Manhattan's financial district blew up as Hurricane Sandy plowed through. They are scrambling for a warm place to sleep. (They have temporary lodging in New Jersey).

Then, as we walked into the store, I was puzzled by rows of people sitting in cloth folding chairs by the customer service counter. Some were reading books; one woman was asleep. Why were they sitting there? And then it struck me: they have no heat in their homes thanks to Hurricane Sandy.

It's easy to lull myself into thinking life is back to normal. Our home now has heat, electricity, cable TV, phone and internet service. But life is anything but normal for millions in our region. Our children are old enough that their sense of optimism has kept me going in moments when I am tempted to sink into despair.