Why Mass Cannot Disappoint, Even When I Don't Like the Music, the Homilist or the Architecture

My family and I were out of town this weekend, dropping our older son off at a camp where he is working as a CIT, or a counselor in training. I had this idea we were going to stumble into an unfamiliar Catholic church and emerge spiritually uplifted by the pastor, the liturgy, the music and so on. Well, that didn't happen. And you know what? None of that matters.

That's because, in the end, it isn't about me. Thank God for that.

Dear Deacon at the Parish We Visited: Enough Already.

Dear Deacon at the Parish We Visited This Weekend:

Maybe because you are not a priest you get a pass on not politicking from the pulpit?

You are not the first deacon or priest in these past few months who tried to sway my vote. Enough already. Many Catholics, such as our own children, are not eligible to vote. The family on the other side of the aisle are not U.S. citizens. Who, exactly, do you imagine you are talking to?

Musings on September Despair and Hope

As September approaches I find myself in a reflective mood. September is full of meaning to me.

September isn't an easy month for me. In early September of 1996, we nearly lost our first-born son within days after his birth. Then in 2001, the day before that son's fifth birthday, my husband nearly lost his own life in the World Trade Center attacks. In both instances, I felt as if the ground beneath my feet had disappeared.

In the intervening years I also have come to see these experiences as a way for God to tell me to appreciate the precious, fragile lives of my loved ones, to never take their presence in my life for granted.

Trinity Sunday: "This Is What We are Made For"

We weren't at today's Mass when Father Jeff preached. We went to another Mass at our parish, where another Oratorian preached an inspiring homily. But when Father Jeff posted this homily as a note on his facebook page, I knew I wanted this homily to have a wider audience. 

Guest Post by Fr. Jeff Calia, C.O.  

It’s nice, to finally have an opportunity to preach on Trinity Sunday! Two years ago, my own first Mass fell on this feast day, and my Oratorian superior preached (that’s also the reason I’m wearing this vestment). Last year on Trinity Sunday, I found myself celebrating Mass in the media room of a racetrack in Milwaukee, where I was serving as Catholic chaplain for the IndyCar Series for the weekend. I had about a half-hour window between drivers’ meetings, and I was so nervous about the time limit that I celebrated the entire Mass in 19 minutes, including a 3-sentence homily!

A Felt Icon for a First Communion

You know what I love about the internet? You can discover all kinds of information with your fingertips AND you can buy all kinds of obscure stuff from all over the world. Quirky things that can actually help build a child's faith and prayer life. Alec, a family friends' middle child, celebrated his First Communion today. That's him at his home next to his dad after the Mass after he changed into a plaid shirt and striped shorts. His patron saint is Alexander of Comana, the charcoal burner. Seriously? I had never heard of the guy.

Morning Mass and Lenten Lessons with Timothy Cardinal Dolan

On this sunny, blustery February day, we have just returned, our little family of four, from a standing-room-only Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City, where the celebrant was the newly minted Timothy Cardinal Dolan. Given the politics of these days, I expected he might preach about the intrusions that politicians are making into Catholics' lives of faith. But he didn't, at least not overtly.

Instead, the joyful man in the red hat preached the Gospel, reminding us that, just as Jesus learned during his 40 days in the desert, during Lent we need to realize that our lives must be lived with God's will, not our will, for God's kingdom, not our kingdom, for God's values and not the passing values of the world we live in. (Thanks to my CL friend Dan Finaldi for sharing the photo he took after Mass)

Notes from a Holy Hour Rookie

This afternoon I drove over to my parish, St. Peter the Apostle Church, for the monthly Holy Hour. Even though I'm a lifelong Catholic, I only first heard of this devotion a couple of years ago. I never had participated before today. I'll be back.

Holy Hour is a Catholic tradition of spending one hour in Eucharistic Adoration. The New Brunswick Oratory, which runs the parish, is one of just eight in the United States and the priests have been marking Holy Hour the first Sunday of every month since June 1993. I wasn't sure what to expect, so I brought my Book of Hours with me, in case I ran out of ways to pray. 

Mulling the Density of the Instant

As summer slipped away and I spent my days shopping for school supplies for our sons and taking one last visit to the beach, I've been contemplating what difference the existence of the Eucharist makes in my life.

How long exactly, does it take to receive communion? Maybe a few seconds, yes? In that act, we unite with eternity. This is what Father Luigi Giussani, founder of the Communion and Liberation movement, refers to the "density of the instant." How many instants comprise our  lives? Each one is an opportunity to fix our gaze on God.

Fr. Giussani puts it this way: "the Eucharist becomes the beginning of Christ’s triumph in time and space, in history,"  Amazing.  And here is something astonishing: the density of the instant begins, not ends, with the Eucharist. We enter eternity every time we lift our thoughts to heaven.When we pray, no matter what we are doing (driving, chatting, shopping, making dinner) while we are praying, we are communicating with God, who exists beyond space and time. We pray for the souls among us, and souls who have gone before us. We pray for them; they pray for us.

This is what we Catholics call the Communion of Saints.

Realizing this, I remember the days, full of instants wasted with worry, impatience and regret. The challenge before me is to recognize that every moment holds the possibility for transcendence.

I like what Saint Claire of Assisi had to say about that:

Place your mind before the mirror of eternity! 

Place your soul in the brilliance of glory! 

And transform your entire being into the image 

of the Godhead Itself through contemplation.

Loaves, Fishes and the Gaze of Christ

Maybe my ear infection is giving me a sense of disequilibrium, but the past few days I have been feeling like nothing more than the sum of my deficiencies as a wife and mother. As I watch my "I" in action, I see someone who is crabby and not terribly organized.

At the 5 p.m. Mass yesterday at the New Brunswick Oratory of St. Philip Neri, the priest's homily illuminated the Gospel reading in such a way that I emerged from church feeling more hope about myself and my place in the world than I have all week.

The story about Christ multiplying fishes and loaves so that a crowd of 5,000 families could be fed is perhaps one of the best known examples of his public ministry. It appears in every Gospel. (Today's reading is from Matthew) This story is so well known, in fact, I never bothered to meditate on it. (Painting here by Italian Baroque artist Bernardo Strozzi)

The Delight of Old Friends Returning

My family and I spent a beautiful afternoon and evening at the pool last night, visiting with the Balan family, folks who moved into and out of our lives and now are back in again. Their presence in our lives was an unexpected gift, but when they moved away several years ago. I figured we'd never see them again.

And yet..."He has made all things good in their time."


Margo was our sons' CCD teacher several years ago; the year L. made his First Communion. A young mother of two baby boys, she was so full of inspiration and imagination about the faith that folks at the parish still were talking about her, years after she and her husband moved to South Bend so he could pursue a master's degree in architecture. Margo, many years my younger, was the person who explained to me (and to the other "First Communion Moms") the Eucharist and its connection to the Communion of Saints in a way that was profound, inspiring and unforgettable. During the family's first stint in New Jersey, Margo's husband, Zeke Balan, renovated and redesigned our parish's Eucharistic Chapel (pictured above), down to the mosaics, the stations of the cross and the holy water font. It remains a place of noble, simple beauty.