After a Half Marathon Walk: Mulling What Matters

The meaning I am finding in the life I've been given isn't going to come from extravagant gestures. It comes, the way grace comes, every day, step by step, ordinary moment by ordinary moment. That is the lesson I learned over the weekend, when my husband and I participated in a half marathon in San Antonio, Texas.

We had trained for this race for months, spending our Saturday and Sunday mornings together, walking and running through parks by the river in our neighborhood. The plan was to meet up with dear old friends in San Antonio for the Rock and Roll series' half marathon. My friend Meredith is a diehard half marathon walker and the weekend was a way to join her and to celebrate her husband's fiftieth birthday. She and her husband, whom we met as engaged couples in Raleigh, NC, are raising their children  outside Indianapolis. They walk much faster than we do and were several corrals ahead of us.

One Last Enchanting Friday Night

Tonight marks the end to the lovely ends of my work weeks.

Every Friday night during the past five school years I have driven our son Gabriel to Princeton, New Jersey --  sharing more than an hour through rush hour traffic so he could attend his chamber-music orchestra rehearsals.  Recently, with his learners' permit, he's been driving me. For two of those years I have spent the two hours of Friday night rehearsals with one of my dearest friends, whose daughter is also in the orchestra. Jane, who is raising four daughters about an hour from us,  and I have gone on long walks or headed to the local Panera to "solve world problems" as we like to put it.

Rusted Pipes and Homemade Chocolate Sauce: Making Do

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Right now I'm smack in the middle of my three-day weekend, All of us - my husband and our two sons - are home from school and work. Tomorrow, we will host friends for  ice cream on our front porch. Our home is never really ready for guests but we invite them anyway. I'm making chocolate sauce. This photograph is from Susan Branch's blog; my counters are stained and I don't have a pretty copper pot. I'm making the chocolate sauce anyway, and later, I will make caramel sauce.

In the Presence of Faithful Friends

"Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure.

Faithful friends are beyond price, no amount can balance their worth."

Last night I gathered more than a handful of women friends to share a meal at a Korean restaurant in our shared hometown. Over bulgogi and banchan and wine and hard cider, we talked for hours about any number of things. We were the last group to leave the restaurant last night. Yes, we closed the place down.

Near the World Trade Center: Contemplating an Open Heart

I had not been to the World Trade Center site in about five years, hadn't taken that big escalator up to ground level, hadn't seen World Trade One or Four or seen the memorial site. 

My friend M. and I on Saturday took the PATH train to the World Trade Center. Our final destination was about a fifteen-minute walk away and this was the quickest way there from New Jersey.

During this journey, my heart was full, remembering: how I used to take the double stroller here with our two boys to visit my husband at work up on the 68th floor of Tower One and to have lunch at the Stage Door Deli, how one sunny fall day we lost friends who risked their lives in the buildings so that others could escape, how my husband managed to survive even though he waited and made sure everyone on his floor was accounted for before he headed down the stairwell. 

In Praise of Godcousins

I posted this photo on my facebook page with the caption: Gabe with one of his Godcousins, Emma — in Bled, Bohinj.  My friend Keith asked: What is a godcousin??

  
Our children's Godcousins hold a special place in our hearts. These children, all of whom happen to be girls, who range in age from 17 to 5. They are the daughters our children's Godparents.

Opening Our Hearts to Our Enemies. Now.

We live in divisive times. Sometimes, that grieves me.

 How do we reconcile these two perspectives? Can we? A homily I heard yesterday gave me hope.

Keeping It Simple: Girls' Night In

Last night, five friends came over and we baked brownies together. My "menfolk" decided to make  themselves scarce: Greg took himself out to dinner, Gabe ordered Chinese and ate it in his room and Lucas fell asleep in his room (though he did come downstairs to lick the big mixing bowl first). While I had hoped to save my family's batch for an upcoming Jazz Coffeehouse at Lucas' school, this is the sight that greeted me when I finally woke up today.

Seven Quick Takes for Friday: Trumpets, Sardines and Vacations

1. Well, it's Friday night as I write this. I am home alone, just me and the dog. Better late than never, eh? My husband and our older son are in Princeton, where our son has chamber orchestra rehearsal. Our younger (trumpeting) son is with dear family friends at Montclair State University, listening to the MSU Symphonic Band and the MSU Wind Symphony. Our friend's son is a trumpeter at MSU!

Father James Martin, S.J.:George Carlin With a Roman Collar and No Potty Mouth

I've "known" Father James Martin S.J. for years. My friend Webster Bull was deeply influenced by his book "My Life with the Saints" and so I read it too.  The book, which explained to me for the first time and in a very accessible way,  who and what saints are, is  a huge part of my continuing conversion. I follow Father Jim on twitter, I am a "friend" of his on Facebook and I read his articles as Editor at Large of  America magazine when they pop up on my facebook newsfeed. And I have seen his frequent appearances as the unofficial "chaplain" of the Colbert Report.

So in my 21st century way, I felt like I "knew" him. Of course, I didn't. I had no idea how laugh-out-loud funny the man is until I went to a talk he gave tonight on the Rutgers campus. My girlfriend Melissa, who went with me, compared him to George Carlin. Yes, a G-rated George Carlin with a Roman collar and without profanity.

Our 13-Year-Old: The Catholic Woody Allen?

Our son and his best friend have entered a film contest. The idea is to remake a scene from a movie. They chose to redo a scene from Woody Allen's romantic comedy "Annie Hall," which won the 1978 Academy Award for Best Picture.

The friend's mother dubbed Lucas "the Catholic Woody Allen." What do you think?!(Our son plays Alvy Singer, the film's protagonist. No, our son has never seen Annie Hall, which, in addition to including more cultural and literary references than any other picture to win an Oscar, has a lot of adult themes. But the two did look at the scene between Christopher Walken and Woody Allen.)

Here is the original scene.



Here is how two middle school boys portray it, using his friend's bedroom as the backdrop.

Superbowl Pizza: Thanks, Ina Garten!

Every Superbowl for more than a decade, our younger son's Godfather and his family of six (his four daughters pictured here)  have come to our house to watch the game.  We all scrunch together on two sofas and some floor pillows. My husband always makes awesome chicken wings and mac and cheese. This year, I decided to prepare white pizza, too. I saw Ina Garten, a.k.a. The Barefoot Contessa, prepare the pizza last week on her Food Network show.

It is awesome. "Mom, you should make this again," was the feedback from our 16-year-old son.

The Case of the Dueling Bloggers

In response to my blog post about my beautiful church, my mentor/blogger "friend" Webster Bull has thrown down the gauntlet (or to mix metaphors, lost a few marbles) by claiming that his church is not only more beautiful than mine, but "the most beautiful church in the world."

People, clearly he is wrong wrong wrong. For proof, he puts up a photo of the interior of his church, and compares it to the exterior of mine.

Hrumph.
Here is the inside of my church, Webster.

Unstuffed Shells and a Mother Lost

Mystery is always provoking me. Sometimes, it takes me a while to understand what is tugging on my sleeve.

Last week, I got the sudden urge to make stuffed shells for Friday night dinner. Around here, when Friday nights roll around, we all are usually so wiped from our work and school weeks, that Friday often finds us ordering pizza or Indian or eating leftovers. But this Friday night, I decided, we would have some homemade comfort food.

I found a great recipe on Pioneer Woman's website and then decided to triple the recipe. I did not know why I wanted to triple it. Maybe I'd freeze it for another Friday night? Maybe this would be our January tradition? I wasn't really sure, but felt compelled at the Stop n Shop Friday afternoon to buy three times of everything: the crushed tomatoes, the parsley, and the Italian sausage. The only thing I could not find were the jumbo shells.

What a Coincidence: The Holy Spirit Dwells Among Us

G. K. Chesterton called coincidences "God's puns." Here is my latest.

I work about an hour north of my home. One of my dearest teacher friends is about 20 years younger than I. She and her husband just had their first baby. Like me, K. was raised Catholic and, like me, she grew up understanding little of the Catholic faith.

We talk a lot about our faith, about the presence of the Mystery in our lives. Over the past two years, I have encouraged her to go to Mass regularly, to pray the Liturgy of the Hours and to try, as I try (and often fail) to live without preconceptions about people or situations, to be open to Mystery. I kind of think of myself as guiding her toward Christ.

Last Night, a True Friend Gave Me Rest

"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, andI will give you rest." 

Matthew 11

Last night, I did something I rarely do. I sobbed. I think I scared our dog as I sat on the sofa beside her, sobbing.

You see, it was my fiftieth birthday and I was home alone after a hard week at work. My husband, who had taken me out to dinner the night before,was driving to New England with our 16-year-old son for a long weekend of cyclocross races and college visits. I hadn't seen our younger son since the evening before because I left for work in the morning before he awoke. He spent the afternoon at an away middle school soccer game, then returned to the high school with his teammates to watch a boys' varsity game and then a home high school football game. 

How Grace Grounds Friendships

Another day, another hike. This time, I hiked with a mom. Our sons are each other's longest and dearest friensds, having met in nursery school.

In some respects, we moms could not be more different.

Joe (Kaz) Kazimierczyk 

Canal at Griggstown

This Moment: A Knight in Shining Armor at his Brother's First Communion Party

this moment - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link at www.soulemama.com with your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

I Can't Think of a Better Metaphor for Marriage

A married couple who lives around the corner from us, Steve and Donna Nolan, met at Rutgers University more than two decades ago. Today was Agricultural Field Day at Rutgers, a more than century-old tradition. Thousands of people went, including the Nolans. Tonight Steve, our town's former mayor, posted this picture on his facebook page with this caption:

"Donna in front of the tree we planted 22 years ago while in college" 
And later he added this comment: "Oops, 24 years!"

On Forgetting About Prayer

Today was one of those days where nothing, from start to finish, went as I planned. Nothing went badly wrong, it's just that nothing went really well. At work, my laptop gave me all sorts of trouble, refusing to link me to the school's server. Then, an important, comprehensive evaluation of me, which I had been prepping for and anticipating for days, was postponed. 

By the time I got to the after-school faculty meeting, I was a knot of anxiety.  My girlfriend K, my best friend at work, eight months pregnant with her first child, sat down beside me in the school auditorium. Turns out her laptop too is being disobedient. I told her how terribly, terribly stressed I was feeling.