Twenty Years In: What Marriage Looks Like

All the wealth in the world cannot be compared with the happiness of living together happily united.

Blessed Margaret d’Youville

A Saturn sedan with no working horn, odometer, gas gauge or ceiling upholstery, sits in our driveway, It's as old as our marriage and not faring nearly as well.  Twenty years ago today, I married the man of my dreams.  A family member asked us at the end of our reception: "Are you sad this is all over?" Greg and I both responded at the same time: "It's not over. It's just starting!"

I cherish the life we have made together. Still, it's not all chocolates and flowers. Sometimes I feel as worn out as that car of ours.


Take yesterday for example. I left work early because I felt battled down by my allergies. I climbed into bed. The housepainters returned from lunch, not realizing I was upstairs. Two sweet men, they were talking about whether they should go buy cat food for our two cats. They did.  My husband went to the high school's Back to School night. We had planned to tag team it - one parent per each son in high school. But it didn't work out that way.

My husband slept downstairs because he knew that while I was still awake, my coughing would keep him up. He climbed into bed about 9:30 p.m., woke up at 5 a.m., walked the dog, sent the boys off to school and then went back to bed. By then I was dressed and sleeping on the downstairs sofa.

When our 13 year old  looked at me as he was heading out the door to walk to high school, he told me my hair "looks like Nicolas Cage's did in Raising Arizona." When hurt registered on my face, he added: "But his looked like that for the entire movie." I looked it up. My hunch is my face looks like that today, too.

Still, my husband's status update a few minutes ago was this:

Greg Trevor

12 minutes ago

Twenty years ago today, I made the best decision of my life:

* Better than choosing to attend U.Va.
* Better than learning to cook.
* Better than deciding to leave newspapers before the industry tanked.

Happy anniversary, Allison. My love for you grows every day.

Ain't love grand?!