This morning, I woke up from a dream, a nightmare really. I was walking and I was trying to run and I just couldn't figure out how. At one point, I was late getting someplace too, and then, I thought two ominous-looking men were following me. I just could not figure out how to run.
Now, I'm not the most creative of dreamers. When I woke, I knew right away what the anxiety-filled dream was about. First, this dream happened the night before I started back from to school after a long and happy summer. Clearly I was anxious about the transition: can I keep up with the challenges of teaching high school students, driving 40 minutes each way to work, overseeing our sons' homework, carpooling them all over the state to orchestra rehearsals, soccer games and cyclocross races while managing a household and trying to carve out time to enjoy my husband?
Second, I have spent the past few months walking for exercise and am considering interspersing a bit of running into my routine. I worry I am too old and heavy to run.
Before I got out of bed this morning, I prayed my Liturgy of the Hours. Each day's readings have an introduction by Monseigneur Luigi Giussani, founder of the Communion and Liberation movement. What struck me is that his words for Tuesday spoke of walking.
"On Tuesday, after his first steps, man realizes that the journey is a trial...We need to proceed, keeping watch, without fear of being distracted or fragile, because He treats us with mercy, He is 'forebearing not wishing that anyone should perish' - it is never too late to start again."
I have that whole anxious thing going on right now too. Starting to have to take the store out and set up workshops and retreats, along with running the kids all over, working with them on homework, carving time for my husband, working inside the store and on my writing every chance I get. I already miss summer. I need the words to "proceed without fear of being distracted or fragile". Thank the good Lord we know we are not alone. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteYou too, Julie! Blessings. I am going to cling to prayer...
DeleteOne of my favorite pieces of advice from a Jesuit friend: grace is not fragile. Lean on it..
ReplyDeleteMay you have all the grace you need to negotiate the complexities of life with teens (the logistical ones particularly!)!!
Love the advice!
DeleteLove it when prayer seems to line up perfectly with real life! Happy first day of school!
ReplyDeleteThanks Karen. Your school days are in full swing, right?
DeleteOh, yes. Even with a 2-day "hurrication" for Isaac, we are beginning our 4th week. Starting to get in the routine, but still exhausted at the end of the day.
DeleteI came over here because your recent titles seemed in tune with my life - also two sons back to school with various things to worry about, but God to lean on. I like the quote mentioned above, about Grace. I shall dwell on that, I think. So thanks for your posts - I'll be back!
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