Thursday, June 23, 2011

Meditating on Married Love While Making Breakfast

This morning I woke up before the rest of my household. Standing in the kitchen, I chopped cantaloupe, washed some seedless red grapes and thought about the ways Christ has brought grace into my life through friendship.

I usually am the first one up in the house; my commute requires me to be out the door by 6:30 a.m., latest. This morning our small house was full. A family of two parents and two of their three children was asleep upstairs in our 11-year-old's room while he slept on the couch in the family room, his head covered by a blanket to keep out the morning light.
Andy and Meredith are visiting to see their oldest son sing at Lincoln Center with the Indianapolis Children's Choir. My husband and I met them nearly two decades ago. We both were newly married couples living in Raleigh, NC. We haven't seen them since. Last night, when I finally returned from work at 10 p.m. (I attended my high school's graduation ceremony and then went grocery shopping for breakfast) it was such a joy to speak to them. There they were sitting on our family room couch, their little ones between them. The love they had for one another years ago was deeper and clearer than ever.

It isn't easy to nurture a marriage through the vagaries of life. My husband and I have watched friends' and siblings' marriages disintegrate. We love and we live out our vows day by day, moment by moment.

Writer John Janaro celebrates his 15th wedding anniversary today. I was moved by his post this morning. "That our lives would be filled with children was something for which we hoped, but that they would be these children was something beyond any imagining. Each has come bringing his or her own unique face and character and possibilities, which continue to unfold before our eyes.
I knew marriage would not be easy and that it would require sacrifice. Eileen and I had our faith, a good relationship, and many married friends in our community for examples and support."

I'm thinking today how very blessed I am to see such a models of married love. And I am thinking how blessed Greg and I that we both grew up with a mom and a dad in our homes. Both sets of parents  have  logged half a century or more of marriage. How rare and beautiful.  I pray that our own children, and those of our friends, will be similarly blessed.


  1. What a lovely post - truly. I have this image of you, even if we have never met and I have no clue what your house looks like, as you were preparing breakfast.

    I have only been married since April of 2007- I was almost 50 at the time - late bloomer! It is not easy and we did not think it would be. We have lots of love and support from each other and from our friends. Anyway, here we are, making our way. I hope that some day we are a good example for others.

  2. You are already a wonderful example to your children, and will only continue to be! I'm so blessed to be able to call you 'friend' :)

  3. Dwija and Fran: Thanks for reading and commenting. If I am an example to our children, it is the example of someone who tries hard, sometimes fails, but keeps going. I am not a perfect parent or spouse, noone is, but I want them to see me make mistakes and keep plugging along.

  4. What a sweet post, Allison! It comes on the heels of a unexpected visit last night from my husband (to my dad's house where I reside three days a week). He showed up at the door with a pizza box in hand. We sat outside in my dad's backyard, eating pizza, and remembering our courtship days in that very backyard over 30 years ago. I am so blessed to be growing old with this wonderful loving man who I truly don't deserve (I was such an awful wife in the beginning and still find myself lacking).

  5. Stefanie: Nice to hear from you. Your husband sounds like a doll and I am sure, despite what you say, that you are too.